New Technology = New Lingo

I’ve started to use the e-cigarettes in an attempt to stop my use of tobacco.  I thought the switch would be fairly easy since I get the nicotine without all the other harmful ingredients.  And basically it is fairly easy…right now.  From about 2 packs of cigarettes a day, I’m down to less than 10 daily.  And my goal is to cut out one cigarette a day until I get to zero.

But as with any new technology, you have to learn the lingo.  And e-cigarette users definitely have their own lingo.  You no longer “smoke”, you “vape.”  For some reason when I think of “vape”, a picture of Marlene Dietrich, with her inimitable accent, comes to mind, telling me, “I want to be alone, I’m vaping.”  The other picture in my mind is Lisa asking Oliver of “Green Acres” fame, if Oliver is, “out in the barn “vaping”.

Is “vaping” the only new word?  Not by a long shot.  Here are a few of the new words that e-cigarette users have to learn.  “Atomizer”, which heats smoke juice into vapor.  “Cart,” is what holds the smoke juice.  “Drip”, is a way to add smoke juice to a cart.  “E-liquid,” is another name for the smoke juice.  “PG,” is the ingredient in the smoke juice that produces vapor.  “VG,” carries flavor and creates vapor.  Got it?  Okay.  Here is your next quiz.  This was written by an individual who reviews e-liquid flavors.

“I found that at around 3.7v and below, the chocolate flavor is more pronounced with my sweet spot ending up around 3.9v to 4.3v.  While at 4.3v and higher, the mint flavor becomes more dominant.  This is with the use of a tank, if dripping the scale would slide to the left around .04 volts”.  (By Tuc on Jan 1, 2012)

I have absolutely no idea what this guy is saying.  It’s difficult to understand whether he likes a certain flavor of e-liquid or not.  And there are a dizzying array of e-liquid flavors on the market.

You can vape Blackberry Limoncello or Peanut Butter Cup.  Root Beer Float sounds interesting.  Perhaps Strawberry Cheesecake is more to your liking?  It’s truly amazing the flavors you can “vape.” 

It took me some time to learn new lingo, such as “tweet”, and “hashtag”.  It will take time to learn the new “vaping” lingo as well.  But I'd rather learn new lingo than continue my old habit.

A Letter From A Cigarette

A Letter From Your Cigarette

Dear Steve,

Since we’ve been very close friends for over 45 years now, I can’t even begin to tell you how painful it is for me to write this letter to you.  But I really need you to understand a few things.

First, haven’t I always been there for you?  No matter the situation you found yourself in, I was usually the first thing you thought of.  When you were depressed, I was there for you.  When you were sad or hurt, I helped you through those painful times.  When you were happy, I shared in your joy.  And after you did that thing people do, who was the first one you thought of when it was over?  Me, of course, because I helped you relax.  After you took a plane trip and landed, who did you think of first…your wife…the kids?  You know the answer.  It was me.  You could not wait to get to an area where we could be together again.  And what is a meal without me to finish it off?

So you see, I’ve been there for you through both good times and bad times, just like a true friend should be.  I never judged you.  Never gave you bad advice.  I never tried to influence how you thought or what you believed.  All I ever wanted was to be that someone you could always count on to be there for you.  And I have, haven’t I?

Yes, yes, I know you’ve fought for me at times.  You signed petitions in an attempt to allow me to be with you in restaurants and bars.  You denied the evidence that second-hand smoke is dangerous.  And I appreciate those efforts more than you’ll ever know because that’s what friends do for one another. 

Oh, I know you’ve tried to break up our friendship in the past.  You tried hypnosis and that failed.  You tried that patch thing and that failed.  You tried cold turkey and that failed.  And after each failure our bond became even stronger.  And do you really want to know why all those attempts to end our relationship failed?  Because no matter what method you used, you continued to think of me, often every few minutes.  Our bond is so strong that I didn’t believe anything could ever keep up apart.  After all, we were meant to be together.

But now you are trying once again to break us up and this time I’m scared you will succeed.  You’re starting to use something called e-cigs to replace me.  Oh sure, some people may have been able to end their relationship with their cigarette for now.  And you may be able to end our relationship as well using those fake cigarettes.

But know this.  I will not let our relationship end without a fight.  I will do everything I can to keep us together.  And when the time comes that you want me back as your true friend, I will be there waiting for you.  Then our bond will be stronger than ever.  It will truly be, “Till death do us part.”

Yours forever, Cigarette